Them People In This Family Used Me For A Scapegoat

my grandmother told me Clara Pumphrey was married to a man named Willie and when he was killed in a hotel room,she tried to get his benefits and she could not get his benefits because he was married already to someone else legally a bigamy in the 1955-1956 the grandmother told me she had to put Clara in a mental institution and that was not my fault either, I didn’t have nothing to do with that at all. I don’t apreciate being used for nobody’s damn scapegoate that is very dangerous.

this is nothing but unprovoked abuse and unjustified punishment from  the start, then why noone never even bothered to tell me why and not one single person even bothered to tell me the truth and I didn’t deserve to be rejected,blamed and punished for me being born with albinism and what about when I was born an innocent baby like all other babies well the father turned his back on me and he was not emotionally available for me to the point  to where I ended up looking for DADDY and my children’s father is a daddy figure by more than 30 years my age and that was because I needed LOVE NOT HATRED;  they just punished me and they watched me suffer for the deeds that I did not do. I was not wanted by this family at all; then why was I treated very differently and cruely by the family  and every thing is my S from the start and was picked on for several years and they made fun of me and they treated my children the same way too, and my son Alexander  was so man handled by them people ,they nearly killed him and I had to take my son Vincent  from a program because they picked on him too and his files were missing from a day program, there was a safety concern for all 3 of us. and for several years the gossip about me was so serious to the point to where it has caused me great reputational harm and to the point to when I want to communicate and work with other people  I am greatly ignored to where a lot of people don’t seem to care to understand and to listen to what I am trying to explain.  Every body treated me like a retarded child and a little girl and every body all up in my personal business and  all up in my personal life . they don’t even accept me as one of their own relative and I can see that. I can tell, I am not no dumb person, I’m not like that and I was abused so badly I had night mares,  I even had a low self esteem because of the derogatory and racist name calling that hurted me and for years they called me that, well that was not my fault, I was born with Albinism and  that is  an inherited  genetic condiction and that is not my fault at all, and some of them people said that is not in the family and that’s not my fault either; I really do wish that the people who never wanted me in the first place just leave me alone altogether and just leave my kids alone all every body did was just use me and my children and they always did just walk all over me and my children and them people never had no love for me no way.that because I was notthing to them people and my children are not nothing to them people either and what they think of me, them people think the same way about my kid ,they don’t have any kind of love for my children because my children are nothing to them people. I am wondering why when I needed to be removed from the home for my own protection and my safety why no body came to remove me from the that family that was not right and that is not fair to me. I gotten blamed,abandoned,punished and bullied and the people on Carmella Barber the mother side of the family,they never taken the time with  me and the people on Nelson the father side of the family, they never taken the time with me either; It was not my fault and it was not right for them people to just use me for their excuse. I never even lived a normal life. How can anybody have a normal child hood,adult hood and future, with my freedom being very restricted. and I did go to a medical front office training school program and that was sabotaged on me too,things got all changed around. I did lose the SSI income in September 1997 and I was not able to ever get back on it no matter what. and I came back to Chicago Illinois in spring 2003 and I did apply for a medicaid card and they never did give any. and I did apply again in 2011 the letter came back,it said I was not eligible for any,cash assistance,SNAP food stamps and no medical card at all and I don’t even work because I am very sick right now and I have health issues and I need help and no one is willing to help me out; It is a darn crying shame I don’t have a family that  I can trust, my health is being neglected I did a  lot of volunteer work and unpaid work I tried to help the community in Milwaukee,WI the best way that I could but I should have been help too many years ago and I gave selflessly far too much of my time to others and for others but I am wondering can anybody volunteer their time to help me out please I AM CRYING OUT FOR HELP  can anybody please help me out and it is a crying shame because I had no steady income since I lost my suppmental income in September 1997 and the hatred against me really did put me at a total lost and I nearly lost one of my children and the parent don’t talk to me and the siblings don’t want nothing to do with me either, that is the whole family. I don’t feel really confortable with them no way because they never did approve of me from the beginning and so it is best for me to just stay out of their way. it is really rough on me and this is not too good.  I really do need to get a break and a make over.  They sneaked and married me off behind my back and changed birth dates on me and they changed birth dates on my children,they are really very very hateful to me and my children;  they NEVER DID HAVE NO KIND OF MERCY ON ME AT ALL AND THEY DON’T HAVE NO KIND OF MERCY ON MY CHILDREN AT ALL EITHER NO THEM PEOPLE IN THIS FAMILY DON’T. NO THEY DON’T.

4 Comments to “Them People In This Family Used Me For A Scapegoat”

  1. I can totally relate to your pain and frustration, as well as your feelings about the people in your life. My own childhood was so damaging it has taken me decades to begin to recover, and I continue to be frustrated by the people currently in my life. I was made a scapegoat, more than once, just like you, by people past and present. Hang in there, and know that people do care, and people are here to listen to you. Thank you for following Shutterbug5 – one promise I made when I was a child: when I had children I was going to make sure I treated them the way children should be treated, with love and respect, and I have done my level best to do that. I have another blog, called My Latter Half at http://mylatterhalf.wordpress.com/ – maybe some things I’m writing about recovering from the first half of my life will help you in some way. I wish you all the best and I am listening – don’t give up <3 Lyann

    • thanks I really do wish that other people will listen to me, it has been far too long and look at the disadvantages it is still causing me and my children and they didn’t even treat me like a blood line relative INSTEAD THEY ALL TREATED ME LIKE AN OUTCAST AND AN OUTSIDER AND THEY OFTEN COMPARED ME WITH DIANE BARBER ROSS AND PATRICIA METCALF BARBER, THAT IS THEIR MOTHER’S FAULT AND THE MOTHER IS THE CAUSE OF NELSON BARBER NOT HAVE NO KIND OF LOVE FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS NOTHING TO HIM AND I WAS CALLLED DEROGATORY NAME CALLING LIKE ALBINO,WHITE GIRL,WHITE BITCHE,YELLOW GAL,YELLOW BITCH,DANCING EYES,YOU CAN’T SEE AND PATRICIA NEARLY MADE HER FATHER HIT ME IN MY FACE WITH THE BROOM STICK AND I GOT HURT BY EVERYTHING, THEY STALKED ME ON MY TELEPHONE FOR SEVERAL YEARS AND THEY INTERRUPTED MY KINDERGARTEN CLASS AND I WAS OUT OF SCHOOL FOR NEARLY 3 YEARS AND I WAS NOT SICK AND I WAS NOT HOSPOTALIZED

    • thank you for the moral support and I hope to hear from others who care as well and keep in touchl.
      Char

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