Archive for March, 2012

March 24, 2012

HELP! I AM AN UNWANTED CHILD,ABUSED AND ABANDONED BY A FAMILY

I AM A HUMAN BEING, I GOT FEELINGS JUST LIKE YOU DO AND I AM VERY TIRED OF BEING PUNISHED BY THIS FAMILY

I didn’t ask to be born here although  I had a right to just like all other babies and I was born an innocent baby just like the rest of the babies; and just because I was born with a genetic condition which is inherited by birth, that was not my fault from the very beginning, I could have died before I was even born like all the other babies,I didn’t even know I was in the world yet; I am not responsible for having albinism and I was NOT THIS FAMILY’S CURSE,THEY JUST DIDN’T WANT ME IN THEIR FAMILY AT ALL; I’m not dumb and I’m not stupid, then why do Carmella Barber who was supposed be a mother to me. SHE HATES ME SO MUCH and I didn’t do anything to her and she always blamed and fault me for her husband and her mother in law for hating her because her mother in law thought she was an albino and I was born with this genetic condition which I was not responsible for.THEY DEHUMANIZED ME from the very start and for nothing that I done to any of them peope FOR NOTHING; SHE told me her mother in law tried to get her killed because of ME that was not my fault;  They didn’t have to take me to their family,Them people should not have taken me to their family at all,THEY SHOULD HAVE LEFT ME BEHIND AND LET ME ALONE; I didn’t pick these people and what do Clara Pumphrey got against me personally,I didn’t do nothing to Clara at all; when she invited me over to her home, she deliberately soaked the chicken and potatoes in an enormous amount of SALT and I didn’t eat that garbage no way, SHE FED ME LIKE A RAT ON PURPOSE I didn’t do nothing to her;this happened late July 1976 shortly right after  I JUST GRADUATED from a Chicago public high school in JUNE 1976.then Clara  asked me in front of a women neighbor of hers, Charlene do you think I am much better than your mother and father and do I like her better then my parents, when I didn’t tell her what she wanted to hear she gotten real angry,nasty and ballistic with me. and she picked a bad fight and an argument with me in her home;Clara never even tried to help me get a paid job of any and Clara is the one who asked me while I was a littlre girl only age 15,Charlene are you going to bend over and let somebody get it so you can HAVE A BABY THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU and she never gave me a time of day;SHE HATES MY GUTS a so called sibling Patricia Barber Matcalf REALLY HATED MY GUTS and she made the father pick up a broom in my face,he nearly hit me in my face with the BLUE BROOM STICK when I was only a little girl age 12 and age 16 he held the broom in my face 4 years later and he told me to take my glasses off because he did not want get caught he was holding the broom stick like a person holding the baseball bat ready to slam me in my face with the broom and Patricia was very quiet untill Nelson walked in the front door,Patricia started to cry and I did see him snatch the broom from behind the kitchen door and the mother was at her paid job the man could have killed me for nothing I done; he did not ask me any questions he was supposed to asked me and give me a chance to explaim it. He didn’t do that and while he terrified the hell out of me,Patricia suddenly gotten real quiet, Patricia was listening to see what was happening to me in my bedroom, Nelson told me next he will KNOCK ME BLACK, I am really wondering why do a whole entire family of people hate my guts for nothing and why nobody never did try to keep me safe in this family and keep me out of harms way but instead every thing was my fault and every thing my Shit. You don’t never ever blame a child no matter who they are and no matter what they got, children are people too and they do have human rights. they violated me from my child hood and things did not get no better for me instead things gotten much more worst, they always treated me like a slow and a retarded child and they CALLED ME CRAZY FOR NOTHING I DONE. even while I am a grown adult and STILL CALL ME CRAZY,BUT LOOK HOW I WAS TREATED. ; I started school at age 5 and they taken me out of school and I went back at age 7 years old and I had to learn how to read and write but them people did not teach me the abc and the 123 s and I had to learn my primary crayon colors and then I had to learn how to spell my own name and I ended up over 3 years behind in school because I didn’t have no proper family back up and they didn’t really care anything about me at all and that was not my fault at all and when I tried to get a real paid job,somebody always stood in my way and I always had bad breaks from the start I was not supported by this family and while I was a youth I expressed that I wanted to work so that I can get paid for working and I  had every right to work and to get paid to work; and if you can’t work then how are you going to pay  your rent,put food on your table,buy your own clothes and shoes and other personal thing for your self and pay your medical bill, and other vital things YOU CAN’T LIVE ON THIN AIR we all need to have something to live on. and when I wanted to work the mother wouldn’t let me work,but all the other kids who worked gotten paid in the summer youth programs and I thought it was good for children to get a supported paid job.especially for those who want to work and support themselves.

September 1976, the so called parents put me out of the home for nothing I done and I was doing house cleaning and Ronald and Patricia was not helping me,I was the only one working and the man launged towards me and he tried to hit again and he called me a yellow bitch I dropped every thing and I left the house for my own personal safety and the so called parents put me out of their home and I didn’t have no paid job and I didn’t have no other personal income and money of my own,they put me on the streets of Chicago,Illinois and I was much too decent for that.and the other sister and her husband had taken me over to grandmother’s home on the mother’s side of the family because I didn’t have no where to go and I never did run with too many people because I need room to escape;our grandmother had taken my bags of clothes and personal belongings and she took me in because I had no where to go and she said Charlene at least you are not out of doors; and that was to save me for my protection and while I was still age 15 years old the mother was cooking on the stove and told me Charlene every women needs her own kitchen and her own bath room.I was too young to date anybody at all.I really feel that everybody just wanted to rush me out of the home and out of the family and that is not treating me like a biological relative at all,NO IT’S NOT; I bonded and I trusted these people and now I do really HATE they took me to this family because I got hurt by the set up FOR NOTHING. THAT IS WRONG, THAT,WAS NOT FAIR TO ME FROM THE START. and what about the time when Patricia called me to so called invite only my children to her son birthday party,she had an excuse,she hated me from the start every since child hood, she said I know that you are busy and I can under,she really didn’t want me there in her apartment and to see what was going on; I am my children’s mother,Alexander and Vincent are my kid, they are not no body else kids. THEM PEOPLE NEVER DID HAVE NO KIND OF MERCY FOR ME AT ALL AND THEY NEVER HAD NO LOVE FOR ME AND MY KIDS AT ALL. THIS IS A CRYING SHAME.

I CAN’T STOMACH THIS ,THEY REALLY  MAKE ME FEEL LIKE DAMAGED COLLATERAL AND THEY  REALLY  MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A HOSTAGE. THIS IS NOTHING BUT PURE HATRED,THIS IS NOT LOVE AT ALL.

this is nothing but unprovoked abuse and unjustified punishment from the start,then why no one never even bothered to tell me why and not one single person even bothered to tell me the truth and I didn’t deserve to be rejected,blamed and punished for me being born with albinism and what about when I was born an innocent baby like all other babies well the father turned his back on me and he was not emotionally available for me to the point to where I ended up looking for DADDY and my children’s father is a daddy figure by more than 30 years my age and that was because I needed LOVE NOT HATRED; they just punished me and they watched me suffer for the deeds that I did not do. I was not wanted by this family at all; then why was I treated very differently and cruely by the family and every thing is my S from start and was picked on for several years and they made fun of me and they treated my children the same way too, and my son Alexander  was so man handled by them people ,they nearly killed him and I had to take my son Vincent from a program because his files were missing,he was not support that way and that was my son fault  and that was not my fault either.I didn’t work there. and he didn’t either; they picked on him too and his files were missing from a day program, there was a safety concern for all 3 of us. and for several years the gossip about me was so serious to the point to where it has caused me great reputational harm and to the point to when I want to communicate and work with other people I am greatly ignored to where a lot of people don’t seem to care to understand and to listen to what I am trying to explain. Every body treated me like a retarded child and a little girl and every body all up in my personal business and all up in my personal life . they don’t even accept me as one of their own relative and I can see that. I can tell, I am not no domb person, I’m not like that and I was abused so badly I had night mares, I even had a low self esteem because of the derogatory and racist name calling that hurted me and for years they called me that, well that was not my fault, I was born with Albinism and that is an inherited genetic condiction and that is not my fault at all, and some of them people said that is not in the family and that’s not my fault either; I really do wish that the people who never wanted me in the first place just leave me alone altogether and just leave my kids alone all every body did was just use me and my children and they always did just walk all over me and my children and them people never had no love for me no way.that because I was notthing to them people and my children are not nothing to them people either and what they think of me, them people think the same way about my kid ,they don’t have any kind of love for my children because my children are nothing to them people. I am wondering why when I needed to be removed from the home for my own protection and my safety why no body came to remove me from the that family that was not right and that is not fair to me. I gotten blamed,abandoned,punished and bullied and the people on Carmella Barber the mother side of the family,they never taken the time with me and the people on Nelson the father side of the family, they never taken the time with me either; It was not my fault and it was not right for them people to just use me for their excuse. I never even lived a normal life. How can anybody have a normal child hood,adult hood and future, with my freedom being very restricted. and I did go to a medical front office training school program and that was sabotaged on me too,things got all changed around. I did lose the SSI income in September 1997 and I was not able to ever get back on it no matter what. and I came back to Chicago Illinois in spring 2003 and I did apply for a medicaid card and they never did give any. and I did apply again in 2011 the letter came back,it said I was not eligible for any,cash assistance,SNAP food stamps and no medical card at all and I don’t even work because I am very sick right now and I have health issues and I need help and no one is willing to help me out; It is a darn crying shame I don’t have a family that I can trust, my health is being neglected I did a lot of volunteer work and unpaid work I tried to help the community in Milwaukee,WI the best way that I could but I should have been help too many years ago and I gave selflessly far too much of my time to others and for others but I am wondering can anybody volunteer their time to help me out please I AM CRYING OUT FOR HELP can anybody please help me out and it is a crying shame because I had no steady income since I lost my suppmental income in September 1997 and the hatred against me really did put me at a total lost and I nearly lost one of my children and the parent don’t talk to me and the siblings don’t want nothing to do with me either, that is the whole family. I don’t feel really confortable with them no way because they never did approve of me from the beginning and so it is best for me to just stay out of their way. it is really rough on me and this is not too good. I really do need to get a break and a make over. I was born in a seriously dysfunctional family where some people with problems that need to be addressed and corrected even before I was born; this problem have gotten me into a world of trouble with some of them people and also I have been having problems from my grandmother’s former husband, John McCoy’s grandchildren from the McCoy family and his grandson Ralph James, Rochelle Saymore and Lauraine Gordan are Ralph H James aunts these people are not related to us by blood at all. I was a young adult age 20 when my grandmother told me about an incident at the time I was only just a 5 year old baby girl; my grandmother Carmella McCoy was baby sitting me for my parents. Barbara McCoy James had several young babies of her own,including Ralph James, both women left the home there was only just babies neglected and left behind and there was no adult supervision of the babies and there was no one there at all. I was the oldest at that time,I didn’t know anything about it. there was a new born baby boy about a month old named Markham James, The McCoy people keep blaming me for all of the adult responsibiities. the child was jumped all over and as a result the child died.
everybody said why didn’t Charlene stop everybody from jumping all over him at that time. They are still rentlessly angry at me for this. those two women left the home to get a drink.and they were gone for long hours. I am really tire of paying for something that was not my fault from the begining. that was the adult responsibilities and I am wondering why do they keep blamming me for this; this is not fair to my family and I at at. It is very to dangerous to leave small children unsupervised and home alone. Also I want to make another point, They are still rentlessly angry at me for this. those two women left the home to get a drink.and they were gone for long hours. I am really tire of paying for something that was not my fault from the begining. that was the adult responsibilities and I am wondering why do they keep blamming me for this; this is not fair to my family and I at at. It is very to dangerous to leave small children unsupervised and home alone. Also IThey are still rentlessly angry at me for this. those two women left the home to get a drink.and they were gone for long hours. I am really tire of paying for something that was not my fault from the begining. that was the adult responsibilities and I am wondering why do they keep blamming me for this; this is not fair to my family and I at at. It is very to dangerous to leave small children unsupervised and home alone. Also I want to make another point, July the summer of 1967, I was just only 11 years old, while I was playung with friends in the neighborhood a husky boy ran up to me and he hit me in my face with his fist and gae me a nose bleeding; I was wearing eye glasses and if he broke my glasses he would have put my eyes out. He said I was adopted. and when I was age 12 Nelson picked up a brook stick on me he was about to beat me with the broom stick and when I was 15 years of age he slapped me in my left eye while I was trying to explain something to him I heard a PULP sound and I saw star lights in my eyes I was so scared for my life I thought I was about to die and I had to put a cold towel over my eye because I didn’t want my eyes to swell and then I ran and said Yo MaMa, I ran under the bed and he beat me in my face, the man could have killed me for nothing. And when I was 16 years old the so-call sibling rivalry Patricia she was quiet she was not even crying about nothing at all; but she waited untill her father walked in the front room door and then I heard her she did suddenly start to cry to Nelson and I saw him rush in the kitchen and he snatched a broom stick from behind the kitchen door. and I can tell Patricia always hated me from the start, she never did accept me for a sister at all; . I am not domb I’m not stupid. and I do know that every body think everything is all my S and every body think I am lacking in intelligence. and what about the time when I tried to talk to Patricia she told me Charlene shut up with your mental instituted self and that was really uncalled for and they don’t want me to communicate with other people.I got a right to talk to other people,I am a person too just like everybody else,I got a right to my difference too and I do know better; I am not an ignorant person. I”m NOT like that.. Because of this I am now at a personal lost and is deliverately being financially disadvantaged. and where I am living I am having trouble getting a medicaid card of any kind.and I also feel that when Itry to get a job, I have problems either I don’t hear from a company or I am let go and on a short notice.and also in 2006 ,I had a caregiver job and in July 2006 the IRS sent me a notice informing me that someone filed a 1040 form ending December 31-2001 bearing my social security number on it.and they picked up my children on the form and they was the head of household. and I did not do that to myself
and where I am living I am having trouble getting a medicaid card of any kind.and I also feel that when Itry to get a job, I have problems either I don’t hear from a company or I am let go and on a short notice.and also in 2006 ,I had a caregiver job and in July 2006 the IRS sent me a notice informing me that someone filed a 1040 form ending December 31-2001 bearing my social security number on it.and they picked up my children on the form and they was the head of household. and I did not do that to myself
. When my son Alexander was in Warren Park 6700 N Damen Ave, he mysteriously gotten away from here on July 28,2008 and ended up in a hospital and he was not looking so good at all. He was not eating, not drinking any fluids, his teet was clenched (jaws is jammed). He would not talk to me at all, and his eyes was rolled bck to his head, I did see that. he was in Illinois Masonic Hospital and e was floating between 17 different hospitals and nursing homes and treated like trash. as a result of that; there were bruises, scars and holes poked in his legs I did not do that to my own son. that happened when he was suddenly in someone else’s place and care. he was not at my home when all of this happened to him.and not no one even talk to me about it; my son had to be put on life support and a feeding tube. I will never forget all of the pure hatred and hell them people put me and my kids through over the years, they blamed me since I was only a 5 year old baby girl and for grown people responsibilities. and there are very jealous and racist blacks in the family.

I did not forget while I was being abused in that home; I was a little girl, a growing youth and a teenager, Tyrone Barber  used to sneak up behind me and touch me in an inappropriate manner he was wrong for doing that and he was not supposed to touch me and squeeze my personal breast; he called my breast knobs,I felt very uncomfortable because it was very wrong he didn’t even apologize for that and later years he was arrested for pedophilia and registered with Illinois state.
I know because I been put through pure hell in this family and I was never wanted from birth; the father denied me and the mother denied me as their child that was not fair to me at all I am a person too, I have feelings like everybody else do my children and I don’t appriciate being treated like an object with no feelings and I don’t appriciate them people in this family feeding me and my children like a rat. We are people too, I don’t care what we are to them people they are not no better then me nor my children and I don’t appreciate being BULLIED by a family who I did not pick and choose to be taken too and I was born an innocent baby and my children were born innocent babies like all the rest of the babies too. I can see that I have my difference too and I had a right to my difference and this family never even thought enough of me to respect my rights to be different no matter how different I was and they don’t have no respect for my children just because they are my children and they look like me and their father. THAT IS TOO MUCH HATRED AGAINST ME AND MY CHILDREN FOR NOTHING. no one is perfect; IS EVERYBODY ELSE KEEPING THEIR NOSE CLEAN?

a family who only treats me like an outcast and an outsider, I been called racist derogatory names like albino, dye that sht black,dancing eyes,yellow gal,white girl,yellow bitch and white bitches too and yes by black people but it got started from the family first, I am a black women of color I didn’t deserve no abuse; I GOT  HURT BEING DICTATED TO AND I DIDN’T NEED TO BE CONTROLLED,I am not a criminal; there is nothing wrong with me I am not like that. I am really sick of the siege.

THEN THE NAME CALLNGS SPREADED TO THE SCHOOLS I WAS ATTENDING AND i GOT PICKED ON AND BULLIED THERE TOO, SOMETIMES,THEY SLAM DOORS IN MY FACE ,SAYING WE DON’T LET ALBINOS IN SOMEBODY TOLD THEM TO DO THAT TO ME ON PURPOSE, FOLKS PLEASE DON’T IGNORE ME I AM NOT LACKING IN ANY INTELLIGENCE, EVEN A 2 YEAR OLD CAN TELL SOMEBODY DON’T LIKE THEM AND THAT’S A BABY.THEY TORTURED ME FOR NOTHING, I GOT HURT BY THE CONFLICTS AND I GOT HURT BEING USED AND THEY TARGETED ME FOR NOTHING, THEY IMPERSONATED ME ON PURPOSE. I GOT HURT BEING TOYED WITH LIKE I AM AN OBJECT AND I AM TIRED OF BEING HURT AND PUT DOWN. I GOT PEOPLE RIGHTS TOO; I DON’T CARE WHAT I GOT. THEY DON’T CARE IF I LIVE OR DIE AND THEY DON’T CARE NOTHING ABOUT MY CHILDREN EITHER BECAUSE THEY ARE NOTHING TO THIS FAMILY,EVERYBODY LOOK AT ELSE’S STORY I AM NOT ANY DIFFERENT.AND THEY TOOK MY BREAD AWAY.

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